If you are looking at this blog post, you probably feel like you have difficulty communicating with your partner. Well, rest assured, you are not alone in this! Difficulty communicating with a partner is the most common reason I see that brings couples into therapy. The truth is, you cannot keep from communicating, even when you stop verbalizing your thoughts/feelings your body is communicating them through your physical stance, facial expressions, and eyes. We are constantly communicating. So how do we do that more effectively? Keep reading and I will walk you through some simple techniques that everyone can incorporate into their relationship. Try these techniques and you will see some results, I promise!
Using I Statements
Speaker Listener Technique
Talk with your partner about using this technique when you are not angry, so when you need to use it you are both on the same page.
Agree on the amount of time that you will take to calm down. It generally takes about 45 minutes for your body to recover from an adrenaline surge. So, I suggest at least 45 minutes. But this may be too long for some people and could cause more anxiety. So, talk about it and find an amount of time that works for both of you.
If you come back together after the agreed upon amount of time and one partner is still too angry to have a rational conversation, then take another time out. You need to be calm if you are going to resolve anything.
Come back together and resolve the problem-This is the MOST important step. Without coming back together to talk and resolve the problem you are simply using avoidance and putting a fancy label on it! DO NOT AVOID the conversation, this only makes things worse.
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